Creating Emotional Safety

The REAL key to better communication


Couples argue about all kinds of things.

Money, sex, raising kids, cell phone use, chores around the house, the list goes on and on.

I get emails every day from people saying, “Nate, we’re struggling with this thing, and if my husband would just listen to me and get where I’m coming from, we could make some headway, but he doesn’t listen!” Or, “Every time we try to talk about this, my wife just gets all frustrated and walks away from the conversation. She just completely shuts me out. I think we’re just growing apart.”

Most people will blame their troubles on communication. “Nate, we just need better communication. If we could just communicate better, it would fix everything.”

But the reason they’re feeling constantly criticized, shut-out, disconnected, and like it’s just so hard to give their partner the benefit of the doubt isn’t because they have poor communication… it’s something deeper.

The real issue is that most people feel emotionally disconnected from their partner.

In fact, underlying most conflicts are the fundamental fears of:

  • Will you always be there for me?
  • Do I matter to you?
  • If I reach out for help, will you take my hand?
  • Can I trust you with my whole heart?

So when we’re fighting over the dirty dishes, or the big pile of unfolded laundry, or the frustrations with inlaws, or going over the budget for the month, what we’re really doing is trying to send a message to our partner that we need answers to these deep, profound questions, and reassurance in our fears.


  • what creates emotional disconnection
  • the habits we all fall into that keep us disconnected
  • how to identify when you’ve gotten sucked into a negative habit and how to break out of it
  • how to create that deep, abiding, lasting connection that makes you feel safe, and gives you complete trust in your partner.

We can't wait to see you inside the challenge!


Your Instructor

Nate Bagley
Nate Bagley

Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, speaker, writer, and podcaster. He has devoted his life to ridding the world of mediocre love. If you want an extraordinary relationship, you're in the right place.

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